Updated: Jun 28, 2020
There are many things that abled bodied people say to people with disabilities that they don’t realize can be hurtful, offensive, and let's be real, just plain out stupid. Here is a list of things NOT to say to a person with a disability.
“I pray for you to become heal!”
I understand that when people say that it’s coming from pure intentions. Saying this comes off as saying “I pray for you to become more normal than what you are right now” especially if the person is in a wheelchair. I have been told this so many times and it’s hurtful because it always made me think that “is walking better than being in a wheelchair? Is it that bad”
“If I was you, I would kill myself!”
Well, sweetheart...that’s why you’re not me. Saying that doesn’t make a person with a disability feel good or stronger. You are making us feel like being disabled is the worse thing ever that you have to die instead of living with it. I understand we all weren't created to handle certain situations but don’t be rude.
“You are such an inspiration!”
How? All I’m doing is eating a sandwich! This happens to me often. How am I inspiration for living in everyday life? What did I do to inspire you? I’m not saying people with disabilities can’t inspire people but if you using our disability to motivate you to not be lazy than you doing it wrong.
“Can you have sex? Can you have kids?”
I had an argument with grown boys (they’re not men because only men would understand why it’s not right to ask those questions) about this. They felt I was wrong for feeling offended about being asked these questions because people “deserve” to know so they can decide from the first conversation if they want to be with someone with a disability. That made me mad. Let’s say this...you don’t ask an abled bodied person these questions because you know it’s creepy and can make anyone uncomfortable.
For the sex part, if two people are feeling each other and they want to have sex then BOOM! It happens (with consent). That can happen with someone with a disability.
If a person can’t have kids then they should tell that part whenever they feel comfortable. Even there are some abled-bodied that are unable to have kids.
Stop being weird with the questions because people with disabilities will tell you, when they become comfortable with you, everything you need to know.
“Well if you want people to understand you, you need to educate them.”
No. There’s Google now. It’s open. It’s FREE like who doesn’t like free stuff? I get tired of hearing that people with disabilities need to educate ignorant people so they can feel more comfortable with our disabilities. That’s not right. We shouldn’t have to work so hard to show that we are worthy to be someone friend, a soulmate, a great employee for the company because they want to listen to society's views on disabilities instead of being a decent human being and actually talking to us as humans. We are tired of doing the work when it should be 50/50. Our disability affects us. We deal with sickness. The doctor visits. The equipment. To be honest, we are happy to just be living life!
If a person is uncomfortable, then screw them because they’re not worth our time. They can’t educate themselves by talking to us, we shouldn’t waste our time trying to “be accepted”. We already accept who we are. We know we are the baddest with our disabilities!